dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
