It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
