@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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