I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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