i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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