Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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