I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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