I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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