I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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