Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
