i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i already hear my dad disowning me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
