I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
