We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
