You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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