Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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