Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
