his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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