i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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