is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
