So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
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I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
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Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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