We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
