I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
