hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
