By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she was so not down for the gang bang
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Two words: blizzard sex
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
