I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize