so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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