I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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