i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
we should paint friendship bongs
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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