You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
