he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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