It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
