I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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