hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
