My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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