god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
