If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
