I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
