I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
