i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
