I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
