This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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