Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

how was that guy you hooked up with?

(415): View more from California

i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing

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(703): View more from Virginia

Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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(231): View more from Michigan

A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...

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(778): View more from British Columbia

She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this

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(519): View more from Ontario

Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.

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