Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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