Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize