is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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