I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
