Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
