I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
