I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There r osticjed everywhere
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
