Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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