So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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