I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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