I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
