Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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