11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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