we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
