She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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