mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's blow job season.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
