drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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