a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
