I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Green mimosas i think yes
Found your dick twin last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
