It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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