Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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