How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
