I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
